city syndrome


it's not that i want to be perfect by anyone's standard, but i want to be perfect by MY standard. although i am perfectly perfect by being so imperfect

I'm K, I'm 21 years old.
Height: 5'4" HW: 145 lbs SW: 143 lbs CW: 143 lbs

GW1: 125 lbs GW2: 120 lbs UGW: 115 lbs

135 lbs [pedicure]
132 lbs [manicure]
129 lbs [new perfume]
126 lbs [new watch]
123 lbs [date night + lingerie for R]
117 lbs [professional pics w/ R]
115 [clothes shopping spree!]

I’m still alive! I know I haven’t been very active lately.. but a lot is going on. My fiance and I just put in an application today for a house we’re trying to rent.. I REALLY hope we get it!

My weight has been up and down lately though. It seems like it just won’t go below 136. The alli pills kind of made me constipated.. so I took a laxative and I think that cleared things up a little bit. Maybe that’s my fault though because I started getting bored with eating the same old things I was eating, so I kind of turned to TV dinners.. which are horrible for you.

So since the alli stopped working.. I started allowing myself to eat worse.. and gradually, I started going out to dinner again (I’m talking like red lobster.. greasy pasta with bread and clam chowder.. REALLY fattening stuff) and STILL, nothin from alli to keep me under control! … until recently.

So the effects are coming back which makes me really happy that they’re working still, and puts me in my place. Also, I realized I definitely need to CONTINUE juicing.. because if I don’t, then I get blocked up.. which reminds me that I either need to eat more fiber in my diet, or get some fiber pills/supplements. 

Anyway, that’s my update so far. I know I’ve fallen off track a little bit, but I’m still determined to keep going. I may have my ups and downs but I’ll get it right eventually, I just need to keep in mind my overall goal and know that it won’t happen over night and I won’t make the best choice every time.. I just need to make the right choice MOST of the time. :)